⭐ Letting go can only happen through acceptance ⭐
Letting go is not an easy task. It requires us to confront our emotions, beliefs and values, and often means acknowledging that we are no longer in control of certain outcomes. But the truth is, letting go is an essential part of our personal growth and evolution.
One of the main reasons I find it difficult to let go is that I hold on to beliefs I made up about myself, others and the world. These beliefs shape all of my perceptions and experiences, but they can also limit me and prevent me from moving forward. On some days, I believe that I’m not good enough. I especially struggle with accepting myself on days I struggle with my negative body image. As someone who has suffered from eating disorders my entire life, I constantly tell myself the story that my worth is dependent on my weight, body fat percentage and looks. Just one of many examples of beliefs I have that are shaping my experiences. These beliefs can cause me to cling to situations, people, or objects, even when they are no longer serving me.
However, when we as humans practice radical acceptance of what cannot be changed, we free up a lot of mental and emotional space. Instead of fighting reality and trying to control the uncontrollable, we accept the present moment as it is. This allows us to release our grip on what we cannot change and focus our energy and attention on what we can.
It's important to note that letting go does not mean forgetting. It's normal to feel sadness, regret, or grief when we release something that was once important to us. But letting go does not erase our memories or the impact that these experiences had on us. Instead, it allows us to acknowledge and integrate these experiences into our lives in a healthy and constructive way.
I recently started to work on my expectation management. Instead of managing my expectations, I actually tried to have none. It’s really hard to expect nothing, from a person, a job, a situation, an event or a day. But when I have expectations, I set myself up for disappointment and frustration. That’s what I came to realise. Instead, I want to approach each situation with an open mind and an attitude of curiosity. This allows me to be present and responsive to what is happening, rather than trying to control or manipulate the outcome. What’s for me will find it’s way to me. What’s not for me needs to be released from my life again.
It's also important to allow room for mistakes. No one is perfect, and we all make mistakes. When we let go of our need for perfection, we give ourselves permission to make mistakes, learn from them, and grow. This fosters self-compassion and a sense of self-worth that is not tied to external validation. I’ve been on and off dating apps for the last 7 years. In those years my self worth was more or less directly defined through the validation of people who had absolutely no, and I repeat, ABSOLUTELY NO right to judge me. Why did I ever even bother to listen to their opinions about me?
Gratitude can be a powerful tool for dealing with painful thoughts and emotions. When we focus on what we are grateful for, we shift our attention from what is wrong to what is right. This helps me to maintain a positive and constructive perspective, even in the face of adversity. Even in the face of men judging me solely based on my appearance. I mean, I got myself in that situation. I know that 🙂 And I learnt a lot. Lessons I will cherish for the rest of my life. Lessons I didn’t know I needed.
Letting go is a process that requires patience, self-awareness, and the willingness to accept what we cannot change. But when we practice radical acceptance, have no expectations, allow room for mistakes, and cultivate gratitude, we can free ourselves from the emotional baggage that holds us back and open ourselves up to new opportunities for growth and fulfilment.